New Sand!!

It's Thursday August 30th. 100 degrees outside. We went through a cool spot for a while then all of a sudden the heat hit again this whole week. I was trying to be proactive and already had carried all the box fans up to the garage to store for the winter. Now I'm wishing I hadn't done that yet. :o)

Today started early. The guys from Heitlands came in early at 8am with a dump truck full of sand and a flatbed hauling a skid loader. They were able to back up to the arena and dump the sand and get it leveled in 45 minutes. Since I still had some time on the clock for the rental of the skid loader, I asked the kid if he might help me out and knock down and level out a big pile of crap out my back double doors. He said, Sure! So 10 minutes later that was done. That would have taken me DAYS to do manually. I'm glad both those big jobs are done now. :o) They were loaded up and out of here by 9am.

Once they left I went in and let all the dogs out and we started in on a downed tree by the arena. The mulberry tree that's been growing there for 20+ years is getting so big that it's starting to fall apart. The branches can't support themselves and are starting to break off. The first big branch fell late last fall. I got that cut off .... but then another part fell during the next storm. Dave and Deb have been helping me take out dead branches this summer hoping to keep more from falling but yesterday I lost another big chunk. It dropped right in the middle of the back driveway so I thought I'd better get busy and get that out of there in case someone needed to get down that back drive. That took about three hours. ....but I'm done! PHEW!! That was a big job.

I have a riding lesson today from 5-6 and then another family is coming out around 6ish for a tour and to talk about setting up even more lessons. I really can't believe so many people around here were wanting riding lessons. This has been such a great fit for me and the community. I already am making more giving 2 lessons a day than I was working outside the house as a receptionist. If I could get 4 - 5 a day Monday through Saturday, this could be a full time thing. I'm still looking for a few boarders. I've got a great barn and pastures just waiting to be filled back up with horses like used to be here in the old days. Between the lessons and boarding, that would bring this whole place back to life again.

I can't remember how long it's been since I've worked so hard (physically) every day. Now that I'm responsible for everything around here, it seems like I'm on the go all the time. That's good. I feel much better and stay much happier when I'm busy. I'm getting more and more confident that maybe I can do this whole 'farm' thing all alone. It's not easy. ... but nothing fulfilling is ever easy. :o)

OH .... and to all the dancing horse fans out there....... this weekend marks the much awaited "Indian" wedding (the dot not the feather). Bride is from Bali, India and tradition states that the groom must be carried down the isle to the alter by a white horse with his entire family surrounding him celebrating in elaborate gowns accompanied by a drum band. El Gato will be the official "Baraat Horse" for this very special wedding. We're really excited. I've got a full paparrazi team going with me so there will be MANY pictures. :o)

Rusty Nail Story ....

So got up at 5am like always. Had breakfast. Watched some tv with the puppies. Then headed out to feed Gato and get some work done outside before it got too hot out. I hear it's supposed to be 97 this afternoon. I sure don't want to be outside working in that heat if I can help it!! I figured I'd get my farm work done early and then work on the computer this afternoon. Only one lesson today at 2:30 so that will go quick.

I was dragging all the extra gates I have laying around the farm up to the garage so I have them all in one spot this winter in case I have problems with fencing in the oustide pastures. If I need one they'll all be corraled in one spot so I won't be faced with a hole in a fence somewhere and all my gates are iced over and snowed in behind drifts all over the farm. This way they'll be readily available in the garage and easily accessed in cases of emergency.

Well, while I was dragging a heavy one up from the donkey pasture I stepped on a rusty old nail. Yup ..... went right through my tennis shoe sole and into my foot. It was sticking up in an old peice of wood in the garage .... so it nailed my foot to the board. That is the nastiest thing to look down, pick up your foot and have a big board come up with your foot. So I freaked out .... stepped on the board with my other foot .... and pulled the nail out. Took my foot out of the shoe and sure enough ... blood everywhere. It poked through. I don't know why I looked .... a little peice of me thought ... maybe it's not that bad ... maybe it just poked through the sole of my shoe and not in my foot. Even though my foot was telling me different .... i still was hoping for the best. --But not so lucky. I had a hole in my foot.

So I went inside and called the doctor. I told them I stepped on a nail and wondered how long a tetanus shot lasts? They asked me how long it had been since I had a tetanus shot. That's when I realized that I have no idea when I last had a tetanus shot?! I haven't stepped on a nail since I was a little kid. They asked if I had any major injuries. Sometimes they give tetanus shots when you get injured. Well, yeah. I've had lots of major injuries ..... but I don't remember what year they all were in or if I got a shot with any of them. So they told me to come in around 11 and they'd give me a shot just to be safe.

After I got there they had pulled my records and it turns out I had my last tetanus shot in 1998. 14 years ago. So I'm due. I asked the nurse if it says why I had a shot then? She looked a little bit and said .... um, it appears as though you had a pretty bad injury to your upper right arm from a horse bite? ...and they gave you a tetanus shot before your surgery.

Oh yeah! I forgot when that happened. 1998. We owned a stallion named, Beringer Bey. A nasty, NASTY boy he was. Downright dangerous. We stood him as a stallion for about 6 or 7 years out here. Took our life in our hands everytime we were around him. Luckily he didn't pass his attitude onto his babies. His babies were super sweet. It was just him that was hateful to humans. I can't believe we kept him around as long as we did. ...but we were young .... and invincible. Nothing scared us. I remember one day Russ was working with a young colt of Beringer's in the bottom barn standing him up in the isle. He wanted me to come over and take a look at him so I was walking over to where he was. I passed by Beringer's stall ..... who at the time had double dutch doors and the top door was open. As I walked by he whirled in his stall and lunged out over the top door and grabbed my right upper arm in his mouth. He grabbed me with such force that he actually picked me up off the ground and pulled me toward him onto the closed bottom door. He was meaning to really hurt me. He was pissed that the colt was out in the isle so close to his stall. We should have had his top door closed but wasn't even thinking he would do something like that. The doctor later said if he had gotten a little less of my arm in his mouth he would have torn the entire upper arm off .... but he had too much to completely bite off. Instead he just tore it and ripped the muscle and severed a bunch of nerve endings. He did a lot of damage in those few seconds he had a hold of me. I remember winding my fist up and slamming him between the eyes as hard as I could and he dropped me. Blood everywhere. I ended up having to have surgery on it because he had damaged it so badly. I have a big scar on my arm to this day and tons of scar tissue leaving me with no feeling in that upper arm at all.

So then the nurse told me ... ok, this shot might hurt a little bit and later you might experience swelling or numbness or maybe some slight pain in your arm. That's normal she said. She said I'm going to give this shot to you in your upper arm. Then she asked me which arm do I want it in. Well, since she had just reminded me that I have no feeling in my right upper arm -- what the heck .... let's choose the right upper arm! She gave me the shot and I didn't even know she had done it. Sitting here an hour later typing this ..... nope, still no feeling at all. It's like i never even got a shot. :o) So I guess one could look at this in a positive way .... had I not had that accident years ago, I would likely be in a lot more pain right now than I am. I actually don't feel a thing. I know .... that's a stretch. ...but I'm trying to see the good in everything instead of focusing on the bad.

So that's been my day so far. My arm doesn't hurt at all ..... my foot; however, hurts like billy hell. oh ... and again, it is my RIGHT foot. those that remember my other serious accident remember that my LEFT leg is totally messed up. I am still hurting a little bit after walking so much this weekend on Saturday and again on Sunday. ....been taking a lot of pain pills. after stepping on the nail, walking has been interesting to say the least.

Just Not Right ...

..and yet again another job that a girl shouldn't have to ever do. I saw a huge, dead, bloated racoon laying in the middle of the road in front of the house today. I had to move it so the dogs wouldn't continue going out into the road to bark and bite at it and end up getting hit.

I got a pitchfork and went out and sloooooowly scooped it up. It was HUGE! It was at least the size of Buffy. I'm thinking the whole time HOW BIG DO FREAKING RACOONS GET?! Flies everywhere. It must have just gotten hit but it already was stinky. Eeewwww!!! I had to really strain to pick him up because he was so heavy. I carried him over to the burn pile and heaved him into the brush that we've been stacking in the ditch to burn when this burn ban and drought passes. Nobody will go in there after him. Yuck. That was worse than throwing out mice in the traps.

....again .... another 'guy' job. I don't care how macho you are as a girl this is something a girl should NEVER have to EVER do. Disgusting. I know now I do NOT want to apply to be one of those people who scoop the dead animals off the road. Eeeewww.

Marvelous Monday!! :o)

Oh my gosh! What a great day yesterday was!! I spent a beautiful day with some beautiful people. I think it helps when there's a lot of activity out here. I don't get quite so down ....and the weather has been so great! :o)

The day started at 5am. I'm starting up my HCG diet again so Saturday and Sunday were my two binge days. Monday marks D-Day -- we'll see how long I can go without cheating on this one. I actually didn't weigh myself yesterday or today. I haven't weighed myself in a while. I know I'm getting back up there so I wanted to 'nip it in the bud' before I get too out of control again. So chicken and spinach ..... here I come!! The day started out with coffee and an orange and a sugar free jello. Mmmm ....... not. .....but surpisingly, I always feel really good when I'm doing this diet. :o)

I had my first student, Aja, out at 10. All the other kids started school on Monday but the elementary apparently starts Tuesday so she was able to come out in the morning. Her dad came with her this time so I got to meet him. I chose Candee for her this morning since she was so small on Gato. She did so well. Candy was a bit obstinate towards the end of the lesson but I think her feet were hurting her a little ..... that could be why. I think I'll put Aja back on Gato for our next session. She's 8 years old and has such good posture and great hands. She listens to everything I tell her. I think she could be really good if she keeps this up. :o)

That lesson got done around 11 and then shortly after that some good friends stopped over to take me out to lunch. I haven't seen Cindy, Abbie, and Jane FOREVER! They had Abbie's little boy, Jack, with them. He is SO BIG!! Last time I saw him, he was a little baby. Jack loved the donkeys ...and the llama .... and Oopsie .... and was fascinated with all the dogs. He was so cute!! We went down to the barn to see Mr. Gato and watch all his tricks .... but when we walked in the barn .... um .... I saw the grain bucket was tipped over .... and empty ?? and his treat bucket was only half full and laying on the ground ?? I looked over and his stall door was open. WHAT?!! WHERE IS MR. GATO?! He was in his stall an hour ago!!?? I turned around and ...yup ... there he is in the arena. Looked across the fence at me. He had opened his stall door ..... wandered around in the barn causing trouble and eating his food and treats .... then wandered into the arena and accidentally closed the gate on himself. Kind of like the day he went into the office and accidentally closed the office door on himself and couldn't get out until I got home. Silly horse. I just shake my head. He was standing there bobbing his head up and down with his ears up as to say "LOOK AT ME! I"M IN THE ARENA NOW!! YAY!! LOOK AT WHERE I AM!! I DID IT ALL MYSELF!!!! WEEEEEE!!!!!" Gato! You are such a goofball!!! So I opened the gate and let him back out and got him on his pedestal and we ran through some of his tricks. Of course, he did them halfway because he had already eaten almost all his treats and was full. ....but I think Jack liked him.

After we toured the farm and put Gato back in his stall, we loaded up and went to have lunch at Honk N Hollar. Yes, I was good and only had a side salad ..... no dressing. Mmmm .... not. :o) That's ok -- it was about the company, not the food. :o) I can't tell you how much better I felt all the way around when those guys left here. I didn't want them to go. They were so supportive and said so many nice things ..... made me feel like I can really do this. I'll be ok out here by myself. I wish I could bottle that feeling and pull it out when I'm feeling low.

After they left, I saw that Dave was down working on my arena doors. They are so rotted that they were about ready to fall off the arena any time. He has been diligently working on them for over a week now trying to get them operational again before winter. I am so grateful that he is working so hard to get those done. The horses are going to very much appreciate that in the middle of winter when I can now actually close the sliding doors all the way to keep the cold air out! :o) I went down to check on him a minute and then went inside to finish up cleaning before my next lesson. Dave worked about another hour on the doors then went home to rest before coming out with his daughter for her riding lesson later that afternoon.

At 5 Jessica, Deb, and Dave came out. Jessica had her first day of school today so we had to wait until she got done with that. She chose Huck for her lesson today. Huck is a little harder to deal with than Tess. We worked a lot on steering .... hand position .... and legs. I think she's starting to see that riding takes a LOT of leg strength. When you're riding a show horse that is trained almost completely on legs -- ya gotta use those legs all the time. The reins don't actually steer the horse .... the butt and legs do. Not many people know that. I think not many people get an opportunity to ride a seasoned show horse. Huck and Tess know their stuff. They're good. They've been all over the midwest showing. They've been GREAT teachers so far. They seem to be having fun being ridden a little more often and having the kids dote all over them brushing and riding them.

Dani also stopped over after she got off work. She watched Jessica ride a little bit then went to go play with Reymond. Towards the end of Jessica's lesson, Jaden and his grandma and grandpa showed up for their lesson. I finished up Jessica's lesson and then she took Huck up to put him away and she and Dani were going to get Reymond all tacked up and play with him while I gave Jaden a lesson. Last time he rode Candee. This time we chose Mr. Gato. I felt Gato needed to get out and walk around a little since he had eaten a weeks worth of grain that afternoon. Jaden did terrific! This is only his third time out and already he's riding by himself with no lead line. We worked on hand placement, collecting, STOPPING, and turning. Jaden had a little 'incident' with a donkey when he was younger running away with him so we are working a lot on the STOPPING part. WHOA. He did awesome! :o)

When we got to the end of his lesson, we brushed Gato and put him out in his pen to stretch his legs then we went up to the top pasture to see if the girls were still riding Reymond. Yep, they were, so Jaden got up on Reymond and Dani, Jessica, and I led him around and around the pasture. He really liked being up on the 'big' horse. :o) He's not quite ready to ride Reymond by himself but maybe someday. :o)

Then we showed Jaden's Grandma and Grandpa the donkeys and ponies. It was so beautiful outside, we all just hung out with the animals. After they left, Dani crawled up in to the hayloft and helped me throw down some old hay to the minis then she went home. I went out to the barn with Jessica and cleaned Gato's stall and we sat around talking and playing with the dogs and Gato until Dave finished up. Then they went home. I went inside and was just in time for my favorite show -- Two Broke Girls. So I called it a day and retired to the couch with all my dogs and watched TV. I think I fell asleep before 9. Woke up around 10ish and let everybody out and then went to bed.

It was just another Monday, but it was a great Monday. :o)

Popejoy Parade

We participated in the 2012 Popejoy Days Parade today. It was SO MUCH fun! I have never felt so welcomed in such a little town. It was wonderful. When we pulled up and parked and started getting ready, a lady came up to us and asked how many people were participating. She said everyone in the parade gets $1. One Dollar. AWESOME! I thanked her and handed Dani and Dannielle their dollars. They were also really suprised. We all got little American Flags, too. That is the first time we've actually been PAID to come to a parade. We made $3!!! :o) $1 each. AND we got a little gift, too!! She thanked us for coming and told us we all looked great.

Then a little later another lady came up and asked to take our picture and thanked us for coming. Almost everyone we passed in the line up area thanked us for coming and said how great we looked. As we rode in the parade -- people on the side of the road thanked us for coming. I tell you what ..... for such a tiny little town, this was one of the funnest parades we've been in. We felt so welcomed. I would go back in a heartbeat to this parade again. Not because we all got $1, but because everyone was so grateful to see us there. Awesome. It's nice to be appreciated. :o)

A big THANK YOU again to our friend, Dannielle Lease, for driving over and riding Huck so we had a trio and not just a pair. The weather was beautiful. I don't think I've ever worn that pink costume and not sweated my butt off in it. I was so cool and comfortable today. I could have ridden for hours. :o) I think Gato enjoyed himself, too. It was such a nice afternoon for a parade.

One Week Later....

Yep, one week later since my last post. Not much has changed. I'll admit, I've been up and down and all around this past week. I sometimes feel like the picture to the right......like all the animals here are balanced on my shoulders and counting on me to get through this and take care of them. The weight of the entire farm is on me alone now.

Gato and I were scheduled to perform at the Sunrise Children's Zoo this Saturday (Aug 18th) but that's been cancelled so it looks like this will be another quiet weekend at home. Like last weekend. I actually haven't left the farm since last Wednesday when I posted on here last week. I'm saving a ton of money on gas ..... but not really doing much for my social life.

I've picked up a few more riding lesson students. So far after 3 weeks of advertising, I'm up to 4! All four are great kids. Jessica is already trotting on Tess and learning to post. Erin is getting better and better at turning and getting Gato to go. Aja and Jaden just started this week but both of them have great balance and great attitudes. I think they'll excel fast.

In the meantime, I continue to wonder if I can keep all this going out here by myself. The amount of work is sometimes overwhelming. I walk around and see so many things that are broken and need fixed before winter. I'm hearing this is supposed to be a rough winter. I worry a lot. I try to focus on each day and not think about what's coming. That's not easy for me because I'm a planner. I like to know what I'm going to be doing tomorrow and the next day and next week and next month and next year .... and 10 years from now. I used to have it all figured out. ....or at least I thought I did.

Well, time to sign off for now. I've got one lesson a day lined up for the rest of the week so that'll keep me somewhat busy. More ads are coming out today and tomorrow so I'm hoping the phone will ring and I'll be setting even more up. The farrier is coming in on Thursday morning. I will likely need to go somewhere in the next couple of days to get supplies, dog food, shavings, etc. ...so I'll need to leave the farm and get out into the real world for awhile. ...and I'll continue to try to get things ready for winter here. I really have my fingers crossed that it won't be as bad as they say it's going to be.

August 8th, 2012

Well, it's Wednesday. August 8th, 2012. So far an uneventful week. Nothing unusally interesting has happened. Just life.

We went to the Aredale Days Parade on Saturday. Josie and Cody came and helped Dani and I out. The two girls rode as my 'back up dancers' while Cody drove the truck AND took pics. He did a fantastic job handling both duties. It was a really short parade but we all had a ton of fun. :o) I'm really hoping we may be able to squeeze one more parade in before we wrap up the season. I see there are a couple scheduled for the last weekend in August. I'll keep my fingers crossed!!

I had some company come over on Sunday. Laura and Kim stopped by and we spent the afternoon visiting and talking about how to run a horse show. They are interested in running a little open show for charity and have never done anything like that before. I told them I'd give them some pointers so that was fun. I spent the afternoon telling them stories about how I used to do things and why. .....so many stories. ...some I have long forgotten. ....and some I wish I could forget. :o) It was a fun day as well.

Got up early on Monday and got a round bale. Did some more cleaning. Had a riding lesson with Jessica in the afternoon. She did EXCELLENT! She catches on so fast. She's a great student. Her mom came with her and brought her little neice, Lilly. Lilly and Deb walked around the farm and petted donkeys while Jessica rode Tess. Was supposed to go visit a friend in the hospital that afternoon but that got cancelled at the last minute so I just stayed home. All in all ..... a quiet day. ...but another good one. :o)

I spent yesterday working in the pasture trying to dig up all the twine that has accumulated out there over the years dropping round bales. My pasture is green .... but not green from grass .... it's a weird light green color from all the round bale wrapping sitting on the ground. I've heard horror stories from other people who have had accidents with that stuff -- horses getting hung, cut, and caught up in that string. I've never had an issue in all the years we've been dropping bales but I decided yesterday that maybe I should start picking it up and throwing it away. It can't be good for the ground and it's starting to look crappy out there. ......maybe I'm getting pickier in my old age. Who knows. I'd like to maybe start pasture boarding and that twine just makes the pasture look bad. So yeah ...... worked all day doing that. Didn't go anywhere or talk to anybody. Just worked by myself ..... with all the dogs around me ......and with Reymond and Huck constantly dumping over my wheelbarrow. God! They are such pests!! :o)

So that brings us to today .... Wednesday August 8, 2012. Another fairly quiet day. Got up early and went to the store to get some groceries. Krystle and Dani are coming over for supper tonight. Spaghetti. I think I'll make some brownies for dessert. :o) Jessica is coming over for another lesson. We're going to learn how to put on leg wraps and work more on lunging and ground work. We may go over posting, too. Tomorrow Erin is coming in for another lesson. I'm hoping my ads generate a few more students. I'm sure having fun showing the kids how to do things. I think the horses are having fun as well getting out and being used.

Ok ..... so that's all that's going on over here. I'm continuing on with life. Trying to make the best of things and seeing that maybe I don't have to be running 100 mph all the time to be happy. Maybe slow motion is ok for awhile.

Focusing on the Good ...

I was watching a program this morning that was trying to teach parents how to get their children to be truly thankful .... not to just say "Thank you" in certain occasions. I started to think about all I'm thankful for. I have so much compared to others who have so little. I hope that when I say thank you to people, they know how truly thankful I really am and it's not just something I'm saying to go through the motions. I know these days my emotions are up and down and all around and it's really hard to get through a conversation without bursting into tears over one thing or another. I know it's pathetic. I'm really working on it. That show today made me think again about all that I have been blessed with ..... and how everything appears to be the same but is completely different now.

I wrote something a year ago at this time ....... I was reminiscing over all I had accomplished with Gato as our show/parade season drew to an end in 2011. When it was only a year before that I was scared to death to get on him. Everytime I went to mount him, I had a pit in my stomach and was so scared. I hadn't ridden in years before getting on him. ...and then to not only get on him, but to go ride him in pubic in front of people??!! Doing something I had no idea how to do. but as that first year (2010) wore on, we bonded and something incredible happened. We became a team. We understood each other. ...and the performing became easier and easier.

By the second year (2011) we were doing things I would have told you were UNHEARD of the year before. Spinning with no hands. Learning how to actually CUE him to do the spanish walk and piaffe so he did it when I asked him to not just when he wanted to. Taking off his bridle? Are you CrAzY??!! I can't ride a horse with no bridle!!! ...but I was riding him in public with nothing on his head out in a grassy open area - NO ARENA! We learned more and more about "in hand" techniques traveling to several clinics. I taught him to sit like a dog on a bean bag chair. Who would have even imagined I could do all that when just two years before I wasn't riding AT ALL. When only a short time before I had become scared of just about any horse that got around me.

.....and so I wrote last year at about this time ..... "WOW! Look at how far we've come in this short time period. I really wonder what's in store for us in the upcoming year(2012) and what new wonderful things we'll experience and accomplish in this next year. I'm finally back on top and ready to RIDE! :o)

Well ..... little did I know all that would happen in this year and how much I would really rely on Gato to pull me out of one of the darkest holes I've ever been in. Going from an unbelievable high with Gato in 2011 to an unthinkable low losing Russ in 2012. Just as I never would have believed you if you told me I would be riding Gato with no bridle out in public ... I never would have believed you if you told me my soulmate would leave me to continue on without him on this farm. It has been literally the most devastating time of my life. ...so as time passes, Gato and I continue to travel around and perform for those that want to watch us. We haven't added a whole lot of new moves to the line up. We're still working on the 'rear' ...... something a couple years ago I said I would NEVER TEACH A HORSE TO DO. Especially when I'm on top of him. :o) We started that earlier this year but have sort of dropped it and not progressed with all the other things happening around here. The darkness hasn't passed yet. Gato continues to be there for me.

So now when I say again .... Wow, I wonder what's in store for us in the upcoming year (2013) and how many new amazing things we'll accomplish .......it means something so different than last year. I have so many new fears and dreams and hopes now. My main goal is survival. Will I be able to manage and maintain this farm on my own? I choose to focus on the good ...... the title of this post. I'm sure everything will be ok and next year at this time I will have experienced many new things that I never thought would happen to me in a million years. I'm going to try to stop being afraid of the future and start being thankful and looking forward to what's coming next.

I Wish I Had a Crystal Ball ......

It's Thursday ... August 2nd. Can't believe summer is almost over! I saw some Halloween inspired things coming in through the computer. Is it that time already? You guys all know I have a soft spot in my heart for Halloween. That's my number one favorite holiday with Christmas in a close second. I'm so excited for "Boo at the Zoo" this year!! I can hardly wait!!!!

Well, this upcoming weekend marks the end of parade season. Not many parades or celebrations after the Iowa State Fair and that's coming up next week so the fun's almost over. I think Aredale is having their "Aredale Days" celebration and I heard somewhere that Dows is having Dows Corn Days this weekend as well. Both parades will be Saturday. I saw that maybe the Sheffield "Sourdough" Days may be on August 25th? That's a pretty late parade but I've got my fingers crossed that we might be able to find a few more stragglers before we have to hang up the costumes until next year. That's depressing .....

But I do have bit of good that may override the bad this time ..... I think I've found my new calling. I have been having an absolute BLAST giving riding lessons! I never thought in a million years it would be this much fun!! I'm really hoping that word gets around and I can pull in a few more students. This has given me a new reason to get up in the morning and keep going. I would absolutly LOVE it if I could book up the entire day and into the evening with kids wanting to learn how to ride and take care of a horse. As I have been reviewing some basics, I find it bewildering that not everyone knows what a cavesson is .... or a martingale ..... or how to cinch up a saddle. ??

I grew up with horses. Have been around them my whole life. My girls have too (being around me .... so they know everything I know). I take it for granted that everyone knows how to collect and round up your mount. I also figure that everybody knows what a "lead" is and if you're on the correct "diagonal", but now I'm seeing that everybody really doesn't know those things. They haven't even heard those WORDS before. :o) ......so maybe I'm not so washed up. .....maybe I do have something that I can still offer people out there that want to learn. ....maybe I've been focusing on trying to get back into something that I did years ago when I am sitting on a gold mine right here. Right under my nose. I have a great facility with champion horses and 40+ years experience in riding, showing, and breeding. Why not use what I have available to me right in my own back yard?

Some people say fate exists. I don't know if I totally believe that or not, but maybe if it does that could be why nothing has turned up for me application after application after application. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be doing? Maybe this is what I've been waiting for ?? Has God been trying to tell me this but I wasn't seeing it? Am I supposed to be helping kids and adults find their passion for horses and teach them this skill to take with them through their lifetimes? ..... maybe?

I guess only time will tell. I am trying to be patient. I am trying to play this new hand I've been dealt and take life day by day lately. That's not something I'm good at. I like to plan. I like to know that things are going to be ok in the future. I do know that this last week I have actually been a little happier. I still cry ..... but not as much. I just wish I had a crystal ball .........