New Beginning.....

Starting a new job today.   I'm excited and nervous at the same time.   It's not the greatest job in the world .... but it's not the worst job either.    I only got a chance at this position because a friend of mine put in a good word for me.   Proving again that it's not what you know but WHO you know.   I am convinced that up to this point, my resume was working against me.    Everybody looked at me really funny .... like why are you applying for this job?    when you used to be "this'?   What's wrong with this picture?   I believe they always thought something was wrong.    There has to be something wrong if someone who used to do "THIS" for a living is now looking at doing 'this'.     I don't blame them.  I would likely be thinking the same thing and just bypass that person altogether.   Something's not right.    "It's just not a good 'fit' ...... like I heard over and over and OVER again.       But now ..... a friend of mine put in a good word .... said no, there's really nothing wrong .....she's just out of work and really needs to find SOMETHING.    ....so I have been given a chance.    I hope I don't mess it up.   

Worried that the puppies are going to be kenneled for over 8 hours today and won't get out to run until I get home.    I won't leave them un-kenneled after what happened to Paco last week.    They have to go in so there will be no fighting while I'm gone.    I've got riding lessons lined up as soon as I get home ..... then have to let all the horses out and clean stalls and do chores ..... then will likely crash and am assuming I will sleep a lot better tonight.   :o)    

I didn't sleep very well last night.   Was anxious about this upcoming week.  I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew.     8-4 everyday this week .... plus lessons 5-7 ..... plus dogs, horses, boarders, and full farm to maintain ..... plus Pumpkins and Ponies on Saturday and little to no time to plan costumes and music and work with Mr Gato.    I will likely not be on here for a while after this morning ......

Well, wish me luck!   I'm going to attempt to do it all ......  

Darkest Before the Dawn...

They say that things are always 'darkest before the dawn' ..... I'm not sure how much more 'darkness' I can take these days.    If that's true, I'm hoping dawn breaks anytime now.    This past week was one of my toughest. 

Just when I think things are maybe going to be ok ..... something else slams in on me.    Buddy started hemorraging out his nose on Tuesday.     He went blind a few weeks ago .... very suddenly.    He had a snuffly nose for a couple weeks .... then BAM .... completely blind.   Zach took some blood to see if he could pinpoint what was causing it.   Nothing.  His counts turned up perfectly normal.  Other than the blindness and snuffly nose, he was a perfectly healthy dog.    He suspected a brain tumor or something in his  that shouldn't be there.  He said it is likely he has limited days.    He prescribed prednisone and some other drugs to try to keep him as comfortable as possible in his last days.     We had no idea how long he'd go.  I had another dog go blind a couple years ago and she went for months.    I was secretly hoping inside that one day I'd wake up and the drugs would have taken away the tumor and he'd be back to the old Buddy I knew.   Able to see again and run and play.    Didn't happen.   He had a couple seizures last week.  When that happened I knew we were getting to the end.   He's never had a seizure before.   After he would come out of them he was so disoriented.  It took him a while to get back walking around again and feeling his way around the house and outside.    He started peeing and pooping in the house but I didn't punish him.  He couldn't help it.    I just followed him with paper towels everywhere.    Then on Tuesday when the blood and goo started coming out his nose .... I knew it was time.    I took him in and held him tight while Rich gave him the shot.      I laid on the couch the rest of the day.  Didn't do much of anything.  Cancelled my lessons.   Just laid and cried.    Deb and Jessica saw that I hadn't been outside when they got here to play with Chief so they did chores for me.   They're great friends.

The next day -- Wednesday -- was a little better.  Busy, busy day.   Got up early and got all my housework and barn work out of the way.    Cleaned up Tina and the baby's stall and cleaned and swept the entire top barn.  Got a lot done.  Went and got a round bale and dumped it in the afternoon.   Had my first lesson come in at 2:30.    Then it was pretty much non-stop because i had lessons 2:30 - 3:30, 4, 5, and 6.   Plus Krystle and Dani were coming over ... Val was coming to ride Penny .... and Jess and Deb were coming to ride Chief.      It was grand central station around here!!     In the middle of my 5:00 lesson with Jade, Dani came to the middle of the ring to tell me that I needed to go in the house right away.  She said something is wrong with Paco.   She said she would take over the lesson.   I hurried into the house.    There was little Paco laying on the kitchen floor all bloody and not moving.  Krystle was laying next to him.   He was still alive but barely.    The other dogs had obviously packed up on him and attacked him for some reason.   He's been here for over a month and nobody has ever shown any aggression towards him.   I have no clue what happened ...... but he was in bad shape.  I called the emergency number for the vet.  Luckily Rich and Zach were still both there.  They both looked at him ....... he had so many wounds from the dogs biting him.   ....he did sit up when they pushed on him so that was a good sign.    They both thought he was in rough shape but he may make it.   they were going to keep him for the night and give him some IV fluids to stop swelling and something for pain and would call me in the morning.   Well, 7:30 ..... Rich called.    Paco passed away sometime overnight.   He was suprised.  He said he was actually doing better when he left the night before.  He must have had more internal injuries than we knew about.    He wasn't here very long, but he was such a sweet dog.    I got really attached to him.    First Buddy ... then the very next day .... Paco leaves me.

I went outside to do chores ..... halfway through I started crying.    I finished them up and came inside ..... and then just lost it.  I don't know what happened to me.  I started shaking and crying and couldn't breathe.   I was hyperventilating and getting dizzy.  I tried to call my brother then Krystle ..... no answer.  Finally got my friend.    I told her I was in trouble and needed her to just talk to me.    Get my mind off everything happening.    I was going crazy....... something was really wrong with me.      Well, she did.   She told me a few funny stories and got me talking and got my mind off everything going wrong around here ....... and trust me .... there's a lot more than just Buddy and Paco.  I think they were the last straw ...... I've been trying to hold it together for so long.    To be strong.    I've been trying to get through everyday one day at a time.    Losing two animals back to back and the last one I felt was my fault.  I should have kenneled everyone before I went outside and that wouldn't have happened. I haven't been kenneling anybody lately because I'm not out there long ..... they've all been doing really well getting along inside and waiting for me to get done with my lessons.    If I had kenneled them, this would not have happened and Paco would be with me today.

I continue to get more blows each day from the pending divorce and settlement.    I am working so hard to try to keep the farm and the animals afloat.    I finally got a couple breaks this week.  Both came almost simultaneously ...... two job openings .... one in Hampton and one in Mason City.    Both part time/temporary.  Not for very long.   Both sporadic hours.    I was thinking .... well, maybe I can do them BOTH plus keep the lessons.  Both are day hours.   My lessons start in the late afternoon and go to early evening.    I start one position Monday and work 8-4 in Mason City keying html code for a company.   It's 45 minutes to Mason ..... I can be home by 4:45 .... change my clothes and be outside ready to give lessons by 5.   I have moved most of my lessons to 5, 6, and 7pm. each night.    I can take care of chores and the boarders after I get home.    I can do the other job on the 'off hours' on the weekends or when the first one slows down.    I keep thinking .... whatever it takes.  I need to do whatever it takes.  I look at the donkeys and the puppies and the horses ..... Mr Gato .... the new mini baby ..... whatever it takes.    I have to take care of them.      Everything is going to be ok.    I keep telling myself that ..... everything is going to be ok.   

September 30th, 2012

Last day of September.   Tomorrow is October 1st.   I can't believe time is passing by so quickly.    My last post was so long ago.  I finally wrote about the wedding that Gato was in (see last post) but now I'm behind on the Dances With Horses event.   I still need to write about all that happened there.

These days are filling up with activity.  The farm is so active lately.   Riding lesson students coming and going. I know I said I wanted to eventually get up to 4 a day.   Right now I'm at two, sometimes three a day ... and I'm BEAT!   I've picked up four new boarders.   Two in stalls and two in the pasture.    That means we go through more round bales and more square bales and lots more shavings.   More trips to town ..... more daily work with cleaning and maintenance.   It's all good.   It's nice to be generating  a little income.  Things are looking up.     This is quickly becoming a full time job.

October is packed with activity.   Lessons are holding strong .... I've got a couple more potential boarders lined up .... and Gato and I have booked three events this month.   We're doing Pumpkins and Ponies on October13th in Humboldt, Boo At the Zoo 20th - 21st in Belvidere, IL and the Dressage Classic on the 27th at the Kirkwood Equestrian Center in Cedar Rapids.     Three weekends in a row!    PHEW!!!    I'm hoping that things hold strong through the winter and nothing drops off.    Right now there is nothing booked in Nov/Dec/Jan for Gato but that is typical because of the harsh weather.   Not many festivals or fairs during the winter.    I hope the kids all continue to pursue their lessons when it starts getting cold.   It will be really easy to lose some clients in the cold weather.  I'm hoping that doesn't happen, though.   Hoping to get a few more boarders before winter yet. to fill the barn and pastures up.  Yep, I'm seeing it's like the picture says above --- STRENGTH ...... Sometimes you have to be your own knight in shining armor.   :o)


Right now I'm taking things day by day.   Things definitely aren't the way they used to be.   Things aren't the way they're SUPPOSED to be.   Life shouldn't be this hard.

...but it is.   and as hard as it is and as different as it is .... I guess it's not so horrible.   It could always be worse.

 I've met many new people in the last two months since deciding to really try to make this farm self sufficient.   Lots of great new people.    ....and I've reconnected with some loyal old friends that I'm finding will always be there for me.   I'm not quite there yet, but I'm getting pretty close.   I think I'm going to scream if I hear someone tell me that 'everything happens for a reason' ......but I'm starting to think that maybe there's something to that.   Maybe I'm just wound a little too tight and I need to relax a little for a change.    Just go with the flow and really appreciate and be grateful for each and every day I am blessed to be out here on the farm with all my animals.    I need to continue to try to wipe out the picture in my head of how it is SUPPOSED to be and replace it with the picture of how it IS and just continue on this journey that is my life.   

Reddy/Dee Indian Wedding ....

Oh my goodness….. so many things happening here at Dragonfire Dancing Horses! I almost don’t have time to think let alone catch up on my blogging. :o) I know I said I would get on here and talk about our last Dancing Horse outing – the wedding. Where should I begin?!
We arrived at the Arboretum an hour early so we had plenty of time to get ready. Both girls had other plans so I brought along my new friends, Deb and Jessica. They’ve both been taking riding lessons from me and wanted to come along and help and I graciously accepted their offer. I couldn’t have done it without them. Deb commemorated the event with the camera and took many beautiful shots. You can see them if you go to our facebook page and go into the photo gallery and find the “Indian Wedding.”

Jessica helped me get Gato dressed up in his new red and gold baraat costume. He looked beautiful. He looked so grande with his new red plume and shiny new costume. I was so proud of him as he stood quietly with his ears up taking picture after picture after picture. I would have to say there were more cameras at this event than I’ve ever seen before. Paparazzi EVERYWHERE! All the wedding guests came up one by one to get their picture taken with the baraat horse and to pet him. He only snorted on one poor lady. I was mortified. She was in her nice wedding outfit. She laughed and said …. “That’s ok …. I have horses, too. I’m used to it!” Phew!!

The excitement didn’t begin until Kevin (groom) actually came out. I found out that he was actually ALLERGIC to horses. He never mentioned that the last time we got together for the rehearsal. Apparently he had a bad reaction to touching Gato the last time he rode him. His sister told us about it but said he had taken a lot of benedryl and antihistamines that morning to try to counter an allergy attack. What a great guy to go through all this for his new bride. I also found out that he was not only allergic to horses but was TERRIFIED of them as well. I was so impressed that he agreed to go through with all this for his new bride and family in order to not disturb the tradition. He whispered to me as he went to get on that he was going to try not to actually ‘touch’ Gato at all if it was possible. I just laughed. I could tell he was nervous. I tried to reassure him that everything will be ok ….. but part of me was kind of nervous too since there were SO MANY people there and I’ve never done this before.

Well, he got kind of stuck as he went to get on Gato. His sari/gown/costume or whatever you call it wouldn’t go AROUND to saddle. Uh oh ….. Luckily Gato stood very quietly while we all tried to jimmy rig his outfit so he could sit on top of him. We had another round of pictures with about 100 cameras firing off. Then the little ring bearer came out and they threw him up in front of Kevin. I looked at him and said “Sweetie, you hold on TIGHT to this saddle horn right here, ok?!” He just blankly stared at me. Deb asked his mom if he was going to be ok. His mom said this is day three of this wedding and this kid is so tired he has no idea what’s going on around him. He’s shot. Well, he looked like it. He was a zombie. At least he was too tired to be afraid. :o)

Then they said – “OK! We’re ready!!” ….and the music started. I started slowly leading Gato and maneuvering him behind this little mini van they had with music blaring out the back end. The big crowd of people gathered behind us. This is something I learned was a bad thing. The next time (if there ever is a next time) we will know to have the crowd go IN FRONT of us not behind us. That was making Gato incredibly nervous. At first he was actually having a lot of fun. He loves loud music and instantly started dancing. The Indian music sounded a bit like Spanish music. It had the same beat ….. so he started prancing on the line right away. Unfortunately, Kevin didn’t realize Gato was actually dancing and he got nervous. Gato’s dancing is sort of bouncy. Then when the wedding party started dancing and throwing their hands in the air and yelling ….. that’s when Gato lost it and spun around to see what was behind him. I was holding him as tight as I could but I couldn’t stop him from spinning around me. The little ring bearer was still a zombie …. No reaction. Kevin was like me ….. scared but still smiling. Both of us knew the show must go on so neither of us could show that we were in the least bit upset. Through his smile he asked me ….. um … are we ok? Through my smile I told him back ….. Yep, we’re doing ok. Everything is ok. Then the bride’s mom came up and suggested that maybe the wedding party go IN FRONT of Gato instead of behind. PHEW! I’m so glad she said that. They all filed around us and went in front and Gato instantly calmed down. We decided to continue on a little ways further down. We never did make it all the way around to the alter like we were originally supposed to. Kevin and the little ring bearer ended up getting off before we hit the gravel part. Kevin continued on foot dancing with his friends and Gato and I continued on behind everyone dancing in hand. The whole thing lasted about 15 minutes ….. it was so very fun. :o) I hope we get invited to do it again for another wedding. I think Gato enjoyed himself even though he got spooked momentarily by the crowd that one time. :o)

Monday - September 10

Wow, I don't even know where to start. I've been meaning to get on here and update everybody on the happenings around the farm but as life goes on and continues to happen, the days go by so quickly lately.

The new venture I've undertaken giving riding lessons is really exploding. I'm up to 10 official students and another 3 mom's may want to start up during the day while the kids are in school. I'm trying to get used to shifting my work schedule to '2nd shift' as right now all my students are school kids that don't get out of school until around 3ish. I have been REALLY busy from 3 - 9pm it seems. This place is starting to really liven up after school.

I've been trying to keep up with normal tasks and maintenance during the day when I'm here by myself. Been getting a lot of things fixed and ready for winter. I'm getting more and more comfortable learning how to operate a lot of the tools around here and gradually learning how a lot of the things work that I never put much thought into in the past since Russ always took care of those types of things. Like the water pumps .... and how they work .... and where the shut off valves are .... and where the well is and what's in the well ..... the septic system and how it works and should be maintained .... where all the breakers and electrical boxes scattered everywhere are around the farm. I've lived here for over 20 years but never had to deal with any of that so I just didn't. Now I know. It's not really that hard. Just have to learn it all.

In among all of this 'learning' ..... I had a new little guest appear last Wednesday morning at my doorstep. A tiny, little chihuahua dog was sitting outside when I let the other dogs out to pee. He has a noticable collar mark around his neck so I automatically assumed that he somehow slipped his collar and got away from his family and wandered to the farm somehow. I called the local vet, the cops, and KLMJ (a local radio station) and told them all that he was here in case his family called looking for him. In the meantime he has settled in quite nicely with all the other dogs and seems to be taking to farm life very well. He rides in a car very well ..... sleeps on my bed...... drinks out of my water glass on the table ..... pees on everything in the house ..... yep, he fits right in with everyone else. :o) It's now Monday and I haven't heard anything from anyone trying to find him. I have named him Paco ...... and am hoping his family finds him soon before I get too attached to him. He is a little sweetie. Oh .... and he graciously brought a nice house warming gift with him ..... fleas. So now eveybody is itching. I haven't had fleas in years here. Crap. When you have 12 dogs, fleas are NOT fun. Oh well, I know it was a matter of time before I got them again. I know they'll be gone when it freezes out but in the meantime I'm headed to petmeds.com to try to get some cheap advantage to try to combat the little pests before winter. Just one more thing to have to deal with ...

I also have a new horse here on the farm -- Justa Chief. One of the families taking lessons wanted to buy their own horse and board out here. I helped them find Chief and we all absolutely love him. Supposedly he was a son of a gun out in a pasture with a group of horses -- very dominant. He was gelded late in life and they said he is very mean to other horses. I told the family ... well, he can't be any meaner than Reymond, so let's just turn them all out together and watch the rodeo. Turns out they weren't completely accurate. No fireworks. No kicking. No squealing. Nothing. Reymond and Chief are best friends now. He is loving life living in the pasture and having his new family dote all over him. It is a very good fit all the way around.

Now I'm looking for two more just like him. That same family would like another one and a new client would like one, too. That will make three more boarders. It is looking like Dragonfire Dancing Horses may just make it as a self sufficient farm. I still need 10-15 more full time students so I can get up to 4 a day Mon-Sat and I need a few more boarders for that extra cash flow to keep things operational. I am sleeping a little better knowing that things just may work out ......I'm still not out of the water yet but I'm getting closer all the time.

The last big 'issue' that has risen is my big computer took a big dump last week. ....and to top it all off, my external hard drive that I use as my back up drive .... that I thought was perfectly safe and could never be affected by a virus ...... was knocked out, too. I've got info back to 1990 on that thing. Tens of THOUSANDS of pics. Not exaggerating. Seriously. Over 40 websites are housed on that thing. Tax records, business records, all our KnR info for the past 20 years. Yeah. Scary. You may say --- well, you should have backed it all up. That WAS my back up drive. I didn't think a virus could get to it. Apparently it can. The good news is that it is still showing that drive has info on it even though I can't see it. It's in there. I just need someone smarter than me to pull it out of there and bring it back to life. I am praying that they can fix it or I'm pretty screwed.

Oh, and in the midst of all this activity ...... Buddy has gone blind. Yep. One of my Rat Terriers. He was dumped off here about 10 years ago. Skin and bones. Scared to death. We nursed him back to health and he has been a great little dog since then. No issues whatsoever. A couple weeks ago he was slightly congested. Sounded like his sinuses were filled up. He was all congested in his nose but it wasn't runny at all. No fever. No other symptoms of a virus or sickness .... just congested nose. He had a hard time breathing through his nose so he started breathing through his mouth. I figured it was allergies or maybe just a bad cold. Well, all of a sudden I noticed on Saturday that he was walking around really weird with his eyes bugging out and his ears pricked forward ....... and was running into walls. I watched him a while ..... yep, he is completely BLIND. Can't see anything. I don't know if it was a slow thing or if it just hit but all I know is he can't see ANYTHING right now. He was perfectly find three weeks ago. Sniffly nose a couple weeks ago . Now completely and totally blind. I took him into the vet this morning. Zach is stumped.. No fever. No signs of illness (other than the snuffly nose). He drew blood. We're going to check for normal signs of cancer or raised white blood cell activity. We're both at a loss as to what could have possibly happened to him all of a sudden. SO ..... on top of everything else going on ..... I now have a blind dog to deal with. I had a blind dog a few years ago. Maggie (another rat terrier we had here) went blind. She had seizures and was a sickly dog. She lived several months after going blind but then had a bought of several seizures one Sunday and passed away. I never realized how much i had gone out of my way to care for Maggie around the farm while she was here until she passed away. It was like a weight had lifted. She peed everywhere because she couldn't see where she was. She would wander out on the road if I wasn't watching her all the time. She would walk right off the porch not knowing where the end was so I had to put a rail up to try to keep her on so she wouldn't fall and break a bone. She would wander into the pastures with the donkeys and horses and not get out of the way when they would run around her. She got pounded a couple times before I could get her out. She kept running into things and wandering away from the house. I finally put a radio out on the porch and kept it running so she could hear noise and always be able to find the porch back again if she wandered away when I was outside. It was really nerve wracking trying to always watch out for her without keeping her penned up 24/7. I felt bad keeping her in a kennel all the time so I would let her out to walk around but then would get sidetracked and away she'd wander......I'm not looking forward to another one like that but I'll do it. I'll do whatever it takes to take care of Buddy. He's been a great companion for me all these years so I'm not going to abandon him at his time of need. I keep telling him that I won't leave him...... he'll be ok. Just stay with mom and everything will be ok. He follows my voice outside and sticks close to me. I am praying this is just temporary and Zach will come back and tell me it's just pressure on his optic nerve or something fixable. I really hope it isn't permanent. He's so scared right now.

Ok .... well, that's all the excitement happening around here right now. Lots more stories to write about but I think I'll close for now and tell you all about the Indian Wedding and our other adventures in another post. :o) Sorry no pics but they're all on the external drive. I sure hope they get that all back for me.......

A Very Quiet Saturday...

Hi Everybody. I never did take time and write about last weekend's excursion over to Miller Training Stables. I volunteered to participate in the "Inner City Slickers" event that Cindy Corwin had organized. ICS is a program put together by Michael McMeel to benefit "at-risk" teens by getting them together in a safe environment and allowing them to experience the joy of horses and being on a farm. There were 16 kids that participated and I think there were around 30 adult volunteers. It started at 10 and went until 4. The day started with Michael introducing himself to the kids. He talked to them about trust and friendship and how tough life is in general but assured them that there will always be someone out there to help. They just have to be open to accept it. After his talk, Abbie brought out one of her older lesson horses, Classy, and Michael told the kids about horses and how to lead them and just be around them. A few of the kids got to lead Classy around the yard. Then we all proceeded to the "Trust Fall" where the kids crawled up a ladder and had to 'trust' the adults to catch them when they fell backwards. The kids were skeptical at first but as a few did it then everyone wanted to do it. :o) Then we all went in and cleaned some of Abbie's stalls. After that was done I helped Gail and Karen get lunch ready for everyone while they all went over and lined up to do an exercise on 'conflict resolution'. We all had a delicious lunch of grilled hamburgers, hot dogs, potato and macaroni salads, chips, cookies, and some very creative cupcakes baked in ice cream cones. :o) After that Abbie got out some more lesson horses and the kids got to ride around on them bareback to experience riding. The afternoon ended with everyone getting on the 'bucking barrel'. A barrel suspended in the air that is manipulated like a mechanical bull that you see at fairs and other events. The kids had a blast riding it. :o) The day ended at 4pm and we all said our goodbyes. It was a great day.

This Saturday is a little different. No more parades. It's September 1st. Fall is on it's way in. Krystle is camping and Dani is off to Arizona to spend the holiday weekend with her sister and other family out there. I'm spending the day alone. It's weird. A few short years ago this would have been the busiest day of the year for me. .... well, really the busiest week. By this time I would have had a total of 3 0r 4 hours of sleep in 5 days. I remember it wasn't too long ago when I was running the big Gold Star show down in Des Moines. That was such a rush. I loved that show. I loved all the parties, meeting new people every year, but the most fun I had was when something went wrong and I had to solve the problems. I felt so important and needed. I'm afraid I took a lot of things for granted back then. I didn't really take the time to really enjoy the awesome rooms at the Marriott .... the fabulous parties and all the wonderful variety of food and drinks everywhere you walked .... all the activities and people around everywhere asking me to help them. I remember when I was so tired and hadn't slept at all for several days wishing that I could just once spend a quiet Labor Day weekend at home ...by myself .... not having to rush around and worry about everything. You know what they say ... "Be careful what you wish for .... because some day it might come true." So now today .... Labor Day Saturday .... a day that once was filled with all kinds of activity and people is now exactly what I wished for. I'll be spending the day alone here on the farm with my animals. I will likely putter around and get ready for the wedding that Gato is in tomorrow at the Arburetum in Madrid. That will be a lot of fun. :o) I have to get his new red and gold costume fitted to him and make sure his bridle and new plume are set and ready to go. I still haven't gotten the bells that go on his back legs figured out yet. I think I'll work on that this afternoon.

Make sure you all watch our facebook page for pictures of tomorrow's event! I have a feeling it will be absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I can't wait!! :o)

New Sand!!

It's Thursday August 30th. 100 degrees outside. We went through a cool spot for a while then all of a sudden the heat hit again this whole week. I was trying to be proactive and already had carried all the box fans up to the garage to store for the winter. Now I'm wishing I hadn't done that yet. :o)

Today started early. The guys from Heitlands came in early at 8am with a dump truck full of sand and a flatbed hauling a skid loader. They were able to back up to the arena and dump the sand and get it leveled in 45 minutes. Since I still had some time on the clock for the rental of the skid loader, I asked the kid if he might help me out and knock down and level out a big pile of crap out my back double doors. He said, Sure! So 10 minutes later that was done. That would have taken me DAYS to do manually. I'm glad both those big jobs are done now. :o) They were loaded up and out of here by 9am.

Once they left I went in and let all the dogs out and we started in on a downed tree by the arena. The mulberry tree that's been growing there for 20+ years is getting so big that it's starting to fall apart. The branches can't support themselves and are starting to break off. The first big branch fell late last fall. I got that cut off .... but then another part fell during the next storm. Dave and Deb have been helping me take out dead branches this summer hoping to keep more from falling but yesterday I lost another big chunk. It dropped right in the middle of the back driveway so I thought I'd better get busy and get that out of there in case someone needed to get down that back drive. That took about three hours. ....but I'm done! PHEW!! That was a big job.

I have a riding lesson today from 5-6 and then another family is coming out around 6ish for a tour and to talk about setting up even more lessons. I really can't believe so many people around here were wanting riding lessons. This has been such a great fit for me and the community. I already am making more giving 2 lessons a day than I was working outside the house as a receptionist. If I could get 4 - 5 a day Monday through Saturday, this could be a full time thing. I'm still looking for a few boarders. I've got a great barn and pastures just waiting to be filled back up with horses like used to be here in the old days. Between the lessons and boarding, that would bring this whole place back to life again.

I can't remember how long it's been since I've worked so hard (physically) every day. Now that I'm responsible for everything around here, it seems like I'm on the go all the time. That's good. I feel much better and stay much happier when I'm busy. I'm getting more and more confident that maybe I can do this whole 'farm' thing all alone. It's not easy. ... but nothing fulfilling is ever easy. :o)

OH .... and to all the dancing horse fans out there....... this weekend marks the much awaited "Indian" wedding (the dot not the feather). Bride is from Bali, India and tradition states that the groom must be carried down the isle to the alter by a white horse with his entire family surrounding him celebrating in elaborate gowns accompanied by a drum band. El Gato will be the official "Baraat Horse" for this very special wedding. We're really excited. I've got a full paparrazi team going with me so there will be MANY pictures. :o)

Rusty Nail Story ....

So got up at 5am like always. Had breakfast. Watched some tv with the puppies. Then headed out to feed Gato and get some work done outside before it got too hot out. I hear it's supposed to be 97 this afternoon. I sure don't want to be outside working in that heat if I can help it!! I figured I'd get my farm work done early and then work on the computer this afternoon. Only one lesson today at 2:30 so that will go quick.

I was dragging all the extra gates I have laying around the farm up to the garage so I have them all in one spot this winter in case I have problems with fencing in the oustide pastures. If I need one they'll all be corraled in one spot so I won't be faced with a hole in a fence somewhere and all my gates are iced over and snowed in behind drifts all over the farm. This way they'll be readily available in the garage and easily accessed in cases of emergency.

Well, while I was dragging a heavy one up from the donkey pasture I stepped on a rusty old nail. Yup ..... went right through my tennis shoe sole and into my foot. It was sticking up in an old peice of wood in the garage .... so it nailed my foot to the board. That is the nastiest thing to look down, pick up your foot and have a big board come up with your foot. So I freaked out .... stepped on the board with my other foot .... and pulled the nail out. Took my foot out of the shoe and sure enough ... blood everywhere. It poked through. I don't know why I looked .... a little peice of me thought ... maybe it's not that bad ... maybe it just poked through the sole of my shoe and not in my foot. Even though my foot was telling me different .... i still was hoping for the best. --But not so lucky. I had a hole in my foot.

So I went inside and called the doctor. I told them I stepped on a nail and wondered how long a tetanus shot lasts? They asked me how long it had been since I had a tetanus shot. That's when I realized that I have no idea when I last had a tetanus shot?! I haven't stepped on a nail since I was a little kid. They asked if I had any major injuries. Sometimes they give tetanus shots when you get injured. Well, yeah. I've had lots of major injuries ..... but I don't remember what year they all were in or if I got a shot with any of them. So they told me to come in around 11 and they'd give me a shot just to be safe.

After I got there they had pulled my records and it turns out I had my last tetanus shot in 1998. 14 years ago. So I'm due. I asked the nurse if it says why I had a shot then? She looked a little bit and said .... um, it appears as though you had a pretty bad injury to your upper right arm from a horse bite? ...and they gave you a tetanus shot before your surgery.

Oh yeah! I forgot when that happened. 1998. We owned a stallion named, Beringer Bey. A nasty, NASTY boy he was. Downright dangerous. We stood him as a stallion for about 6 or 7 years out here. Took our life in our hands everytime we were around him. Luckily he didn't pass his attitude onto his babies. His babies were super sweet. It was just him that was hateful to humans. I can't believe we kept him around as long as we did. ...but we were young .... and invincible. Nothing scared us. I remember one day Russ was working with a young colt of Beringer's in the bottom barn standing him up in the isle. He wanted me to come over and take a look at him so I was walking over to where he was. I passed by Beringer's stall ..... who at the time had double dutch doors and the top door was open. As I walked by he whirled in his stall and lunged out over the top door and grabbed my right upper arm in his mouth. He grabbed me with such force that he actually picked me up off the ground and pulled me toward him onto the closed bottom door. He was meaning to really hurt me. He was pissed that the colt was out in the isle so close to his stall. We should have had his top door closed but wasn't even thinking he would do something like that. The doctor later said if he had gotten a little less of my arm in his mouth he would have torn the entire upper arm off .... but he had too much to completely bite off. Instead he just tore it and ripped the muscle and severed a bunch of nerve endings. He did a lot of damage in those few seconds he had a hold of me. I remember winding my fist up and slamming him between the eyes as hard as I could and he dropped me. Blood everywhere. I ended up having to have surgery on it because he had damaged it so badly. I have a big scar on my arm to this day and tons of scar tissue leaving me with no feeling in that upper arm at all.

So then the nurse told me ... ok, this shot might hurt a little bit and later you might experience swelling or numbness or maybe some slight pain in your arm. That's normal she said. She said I'm going to give this shot to you in your upper arm. Then she asked me which arm do I want it in. Well, since she had just reminded me that I have no feeling in my right upper arm -- what the heck .... let's choose the right upper arm! She gave me the shot and I didn't even know she had done it. Sitting here an hour later typing this ..... nope, still no feeling at all. It's like i never even got a shot. :o) So I guess one could look at this in a positive way .... had I not had that accident years ago, I would likely be in a lot more pain right now than I am. I actually don't feel a thing. I know .... that's a stretch. ...but I'm trying to see the good in everything instead of focusing on the bad.

So that's been my day so far. My arm doesn't hurt at all ..... my foot; however, hurts like billy hell. oh ... and again, it is my RIGHT foot. those that remember my other serious accident remember that my LEFT leg is totally messed up. I am still hurting a little bit after walking so much this weekend on Saturday and again on Sunday. ....been taking a lot of pain pills. after stepping on the nail, walking has been interesting to say the least.

Just Not Right ...

..and yet again another job that a girl shouldn't have to ever do. I saw a huge, dead, bloated racoon laying in the middle of the road in front of the house today. I had to move it so the dogs wouldn't continue going out into the road to bark and bite at it and end up getting hit.

I got a pitchfork and went out and sloooooowly scooped it up. It was HUGE! It was at least the size of Buffy. I'm thinking the whole time HOW BIG DO FREAKING RACOONS GET?! Flies everywhere. It must have just gotten hit but it already was stinky. Eeewwww!!! I had to really strain to pick him up because he was so heavy. I carried him over to the burn pile and heaved him into the brush that we've been stacking in the ditch to burn when this burn ban and drought passes. Nobody will go in there after him. Yuck. That was worse than throwing out mice in the traps.

....again .... another 'guy' job. I don't care how macho you are as a girl this is something a girl should NEVER have to EVER do. Disgusting. I know now I do NOT want to apply to be one of those people who scoop the dead animals off the road. Eeeewww.

Marvelous Monday!! :o)

Oh my gosh! What a great day yesterday was!! I spent a beautiful day with some beautiful people. I think it helps when there's a lot of activity out here. I don't get quite so down ....and the weather has been so great! :o)

The day started at 5am. I'm starting up my HCG diet again so Saturday and Sunday were my two binge days. Monday marks D-Day -- we'll see how long I can go without cheating on this one. I actually didn't weigh myself yesterday or today. I haven't weighed myself in a while. I know I'm getting back up there so I wanted to 'nip it in the bud' before I get too out of control again. So chicken and spinach ..... here I come!! The day started out with coffee and an orange and a sugar free jello. Mmmm ....... not. .....but surpisingly, I always feel really good when I'm doing this diet. :o)

I had my first student, Aja, out at 10. All the other kids started school on Monday but the elementary apparently starts Tuesday so she was able to come out in the morning. Her dad came with her this time so I got to meet him. I chose Candee for her this morning since she was so small on Gato. She did so well. Candy was a bit obstinate towards the end of the lesson but I think her feet were hurting her a little ..... that could be why. I think I'll put Aja back on Gato for our next session. She's 8 years old and has such good posture and great hands. She listens to everything I tell her. I think she could be really good if she keeps this up. :o)

That lesson got done around 11 and then shortly after that some good friends stopped over to take me out to lunch. I haven't seen Cindy, Abbie, and Jane FOREVER! They had Abbie's little boy, Jack, with them. He is SO BIG!! Last time I saw him, he was a little baby. Jack loved the donkeys ...and the llama .... and Oopsie .... and was fascinated with all the dogs. He was so cute!! We went down to the barn to see Mr. Gato and watch all his tricks .... but when we walked in the barn .... um .... I saw the grain bucket was tipped over .... and empty ?? and his treat bucket was only half full and laying on the ground ?? I looked over and his stall door was open. WHAT?!! WHERE IS MR. GATO?! He was in his stall an hour ago!!?? I turned around and ...yup ... there he is in the arena. Looked across the fence at me. He had opened his stall door ..... wandered around in the barn causing trouble and eating his food and treats .... then wandered into the arena and accidentally closed the gate on himself. Kind of like the day he went into the office and accidentally closed the office door on himself and couldn't get out until I got home. Silly horse. I just shake my head. He was standing there bobbing his head up and down with his ears up as to say "LOOK AT ME! I"M IN THE ARENA NOW!! YAY!! LOOK AT WHERE I AM!! I DID IT ALL MYSELF!!!! WEEEEEE!!!!!" Gato! You are such a goofball!!! So I opened the gate and let him back out and got him on his pedestal and we ran through some of his tricks. Of course, he did them halfway because he had already eaten almost all his treats and was full. ....but I think Jack liked him.

After we toured the farm and put Gato back in his stall, we loaded up and went to have lunch at Honk N Hollar. Yes, I was good and only had a side salad ..... no dressing. Mmmm .... not. :o) That's ok -- it was about the company, not the food. :o) I can't tell you how much better I felt all the way around when those guys left here. I didn't want them to go. They were so supportive and said so many nice things ..... made me feel like I can really do this. I'll be ok out here by myself. I wish I could bottle that feeling and pull it out when I'm feeling low.

After they left, I saw that Dave was down working on my arena doors. They are so rotted that they were about ready to fall off the arena any time. He has been diligently working on them for over a week now trying to get them operational again before winter. I am so grateful that he is working so hard to get those done. The horses are going to very much appreciate that in the middle of winter when I can now actually close the sliding doors all the way to keep the cold air out! :o) I went down to check on him a minute and then went inside to finish up cleaning before my next lesson. Dave worked about another hour on the doors then went home to rest before coming out with his daughter for her riding lesson later that afternoon.

At 5 Jessica, Deb, and Dave came out. Jessica had her first day of school today so we had to wait until she got done with that. She chose Huck for her lesson today. Huck is a little harder to deal with than Tess. We worked a lot on steering .... hand position .... and legs. I think she's starting to see that riding takes a LOT of leg strength. When you're riding a show horse that is trained almost completely on legs -- ya gotta use those legs all the time. The reins don't actually steer the horse .... the butt and legs do. Not many people know that. I think not many people get an opportunity to ride a seasoned show horse. Huck and Tess know their stuff. They're good. They've been all over the midwest showing. They've been GREAT teachers so far. They seem to be having fun being ridden a little more often and having the kids dote all over them brushing and riding them.

Dani also stopped over after she got off work. She watched Jessica ride a little bit then went to go play with Reymond. Towards the end of Jessica's lesson, Jaden and his grandma and grandpa showed up for their lesson. I finished up Jessica's lesson and then she took Huck up to put him away and she and Dani were going to get Reymond all tacked up and play with him while I gave Jaden a lesson. Last time he rode Candee. This time we chose Mr. Gato. I felt Gato needed to get out and walk around a little since he had eaten a weeks worth of grain that afternoon. Jaden did terrific! This is only his third time out and already he's riding by himself with no lead line. We worked on hand placement, collecting, STOPPING, and turning. Jaden had a little 'incident' with a donkey when he was younger running away with him so we are working a lot on the STOPPING part. WHOA. He did awesome! :o)

When we got to the end of his lesson, we brushed Gato and put him out in his pen to stretch his legs then we went up to the top pasture to see if the girls were still riding Reymond. Yep, they were, so Jaden got up on Reymond and Dani, Jessica, and I led him around and around the pasture. He really liked being up on the 'big' horse. :o) He's not quite ready to ride Reymond by himself but maybe someday. :o)

Then we showed Jaden's Grandma and Grandpa the donkeys and ponies. It was so beautiful outside, we all just hung out with the animals. After they left, Dani crawled up in to the hayloft and helped me throw down some old hay to the minis then she went home. I went out to the barn with Jessica and cleaned Gato's stall and we sat around talking and playing with the dogs and Gato until Dave finished up. Then they went home. I went inside and was just in time for my favorite show -- Two Broke Girls. So I called it a day and retired to the couch with all my dogs and watched TV. I think I fell asleep before 9. Woke up around 10ish and let everybody out and then went to bed.

It was just another Monday, but it was a great Monday. :o)

Popejoy Parade

We participated in the 2012 Popejoy Days Parade today. It was SO MUCH fun! I have never felt so welcomed in such a little town. It was wonderful. When we pulled up and parked and started getting ready, a lady came up to us and asked how many people were participating. She said everyone in the parade gets $1. One Dollar. AWESOME! I thanked her and handed Dani and Dannielle their dollars. They were also really suprised. We all got little American Flags, too. That is the first time we've actually been PAID to come to a parade. We made $3!!! :o) $1 each. AND we got a little gift, too!! She thanked us for coming and told us we all looked great.

Then a little later another lady came up and asked to take our picture and thanked us for coming. Almost everyone we passed in the line up area thanked us for coming and said how great we looked. As we rode in the parade -- people on the side of the road thanked us for coming. I tell you what ..... for such a tiny little town, this was one of the funnest parades we've been in. We felt so welcomed. I would go back in a heartbeat to this parade again. Not because we all got $1, but because everyone was so grateful to see us there. Awesome. It's nice to be appreciated. :o)

A big THANK YOU again to our friend, Dannielle Lease, for driving over and riding Huck so we had a trio and not just a pair. The weather was beautiful. I don't think I've ever worn that pink costume and not sweated my butt off in it. I was so cool and comfortable today. I could have ridden for hours. :o) I think Gato enjoyed himself, too. It was such a nice afternoon for a parade.

One Week Later....

Yep, one week later since my last post. Not much has changed. I'll admit, I've been up and down and all around this past week. I sometimes feel like the picture to the right......like all the animals here are balanced on my shoulders and counting on me to get through this and take care of them. The weight of the entire farm is on me alone now.

Gato and I were scheduled to perform at the Sunrise Children's Zoo this Saturday (Aug 18th) but that's been cancelled so it looks like this will be another quiet weekend at home. Like last weekend. I actually haven't left the farm since last Wednesday when I posted on here last week. I'm saving a ton of money on gas ..... but not really doing much for my social life.

I've picked up a few more riding lesson students. So far after 3 weeks of advertising, I'm up to 4! All four are great kids. Jessica is already trotting on Tess and learning to post. Erin is getting better and better at turning and getting Gato to go. Aja and Jaden just started this week but both of them have great balance and great attitudes. I think they'll excel fast.

In the meantime, I continue to wonder if I can keep all this going out here by myself. The amount of work is sometimes overwhelming. I walk around and see so many things that are broken and need fixed before winter. I'm hearing this is supposed to be a rough winter. I worry a lot. I try to focus on each day and not think about what's coming. That's not easy for me because I'm a planner. I like to know what I'm going to be doing tomorrow and the next day and next week and next month and next year .... and 10 years from now. I used to have it all figured out. ....or at least I thought I did.

Well, time to sign off for now. I've got one lesson a day lined up for the rest of the week so that'll keep me somewhat busy. More ads are coming out today and tomorrow so I'm hoping the phone will ring and I'll be setting even more up. The farrier is coming in on Thursday morning. I will likely need to go somewhere in the next couple of days to get supplies, dog food, shavings, etc. ...so I'll need to leave the farm and get out into the real world for awhile. ...and I'll continue to try to get things ready for winter here. I really have my fingers crossed that it won't be as bad as they say it's going to be.

August 8th, 2012

Well, it's Wednesday. August 8th, 2012. So far an uneventful week. Nothing unusally interesting has happened. Just life.

We went to the Aredale Days Parade on Saturday. Josie and Cody came and helped Dani and I out. The two girls rode as my 'back up dancers' while Cody drove the truck AND took pics. He did a fantastic job handling both duties. It was a really short parade but we all had a ton of fun. :o) I'm really hoping we may be able to squeeze one more parade in before we wrap up the season. I see there are a couple scheduled for the last weekend in August. I'll keep my fingers crossed!!

I had some company come over on Sunday. Laura and Kim stopped by and we spent the afternoon visiting and talking about how to run a horse show. They are interested in running a little open show for charity and have never done anything like that before. I told them I'd give them some pointers so that was fun. I spent the afternoon telling them stories about how I used to do things and why. .....so many stories. ...some I have long forgotten. ....and some I wish I could forget. :o) It was a fun day as well.

Got up early on Monday and got a round bale. Did some more cleaning. Had a riding lesson with Jessica in the afternoon. She did EXCELLENT! She catches on so fast. She's a great student. Her mom came with her and brought her little neice, Lilly. Lilly and Deb walked around the farm and petted donkeys while Jessica rode Tess. Was supposed to go visit a friend in the hospital that afternoon but that got cancelled at the last minute so I just stayed home. All in all ..... a quiet day. ...but another good one. :o)

I spent yesterday working in the pasture trying to dig up all the twine that has accumulated out there over the years dropping round bales. My pasture is green .... but not green from grass .... it's a weird light green color from all the round bale wrapping sitting on the ground. I've heard horror stories from other people who have had accidents with that stuff -- horses getting hung, cut, and caught up in that string. I've never had an issue in all the years we've been dropping bales but I decided yesterday that maybe I should start picking it up and throwing it away. It can't be good for the ground and it's starting to look crappy out there. ......maybe I'm getting pickier in my old age. Who knows. I'd like to maybe start pasture boarding and that twine just makes the pasture look bad. So yeah ...... worked all day doing that. Didn't go anywhere or talk to anybody. Just worked by myself ..... with all the dogs around me ......and with Reymond and Huck constantly dumping over my wheelbarrow. God! They are such pests!! :o)

So that brings us to today .... Wednesday August 8, 2012. Another fairly quiet day. Got up early and went to the store to get some groceries. Krystle and Dani are coming over for supper tonight. Spaghetti. I think I'll make some brownies for dessert. :o) Jessica is coming over for another lesson. We're going to learn how to put on leg wraps and work more on lunging and ground work. We may go over posting, too. Tomorrow Erin is coming in for another lesson. I'm hoping my ads generate a few more students. I'm sure having fun showing the kids how to do things. I think the horses are having fun as well getting out and being used.

Ok ..... so that's all that's going on over here. I'm continuing on with life. Trying to make the best of things and seeing that maybe I don't have to be running 100 mph all the time to be happy. Maybe slow motion is ok for awhile.

Focusing on the Good ...

I was watching a program this morning that was trying to teach parents how to get their children to be truly thankful .... not to just say "Thank you" in certain occasions. I started to think about all I'm thankful for. I have so much compared to others who have so little. I hope that when I say thank you to people, they know how truly thankful I really am and it's not just something I'm saying to go through the motions. I know these days my emotions are up and down and all around and it's really hard to get through a conversation without bursting into tears over one thing or another. I know it's pathetic. I'm really working on it. That show today made me think again about all that I have been blessed with ..... and how everything appears to be the same but is completely different now.

I wrote something a year ago at this time ....... I was reminiscing over all I had accomplished with Gato as our show/parade season drew to an end in 2011. When it was only a year before that I was scared to death to get on him. Everytime I went to mount him, I had a pit in my stomach and was so scared. I hadn't ridden in years before getting on him. ...and then to not only get on him, but to go ride him in pubic in front of people??!! Doing something I had no idea how to do. but as that first year (2010) wore on, we bonded and something incredible happened. We became a team. We understood each other. ...and the performing became easier and easier.

By the second year (2011) we were doing things I would have told you were UNHEARD of the year before. Spinning with no hands. Learning how to actually CUE him to do the spanish walk and piaffe so he did it when I asked him to not just when he wanted to. Taking off his bridle? Are you CrAzY??!! I can't ride a horse with no bridle!!! ...but I was riding him in public with nothing on his head out in a grassy open area - NO ARENA! We learned more and more about "in hand" techniques traveling to several clinics. I taught him to sit like a dog on a bean bag chair. Who would have even imagined I could do all that when just two years before I wasn't riding AT ALL. When only a short time before I had become scared of just about any horse that got around me.

.....and so I wrote last year at about this time ..... "WOW! Look at how far we've come in this short time period. I really wonder what's in store for us in the upcoming year(2012) and what new wonderful things we'll experience and accomplish in this next year. I'm finally back on top and ready to RIDE! :o)

Well ..... little did I know all that would happen in this year and how much I would really rely on Gato to pull me out of one of the darkest holes I've ever been in. Going from an unbelievable high with Gato in 2011 to an unthinkable low losing Russ in 2012. Just as I never would have believed you if you told me I would be riding Gato with no bridle out in public ... I never would have believed you if you told me my soulmate would leave me to continue on without him on this farm. It has been literally the most devastating time of my life. ...so as time passes, Gato and I continue to travel around and perform for those that want to watch us. We haven't added a whole lot of new moves to the line up. We're still working on the 'rear' ...... something a couple years ago I said I would NEVER TEACH A HORSE TO DO. Especially when I'm on top of him. :o) We started that earlier this year but have sort of dropped it and not progressed with all the other things happening around here. The darkness hasn't passed yet. Gato continues to be there for me.

So now when I say again .... Wow, I wonder what's in store for us in the upcoming year (2013) and how many new amazing things we'll accomplish .......it means something so different than last year. I have so many new fears and dreams and hopes now. My main goal is survival. Will I be able to manage and maintain this farm on my own? I choose to focus on the good ...... the title of this post. I'm sure everything will be ok and next year at this time I will have experienced many new things that I never thought would happen to me in a million years. I'm going to try to stop being afraid of the future and start being thankful and looking forward to what's coming next.

I Wish I Had a Crystal Ball ......

It's Thursday ... August 2nd. Can't believe summer is almost over! I saw some Halloween inspired things coming in through the computer. Is it that time already? You guys all know I have a soft spot in my heart for Halloween. That's my number one favorite holiday with Christmas in a close second. I'm so excited for "Boo at the Zoo" this year!! I can hardly wait!!!!

Well, this upcoming weekend marks the end of parade season. Not many parades or celebrations after the Iowa State Fair and that's coming up next week so the fun's almost over. I think Aredale is having their "Aredale Days" celebration and I heard somewhere that Dows is having Dows Corn Days this weekend as well. Both parades will be Saturday. I saw that maybe the Sheffield "Sourdough" Days may be on August 25th? That's a pretty late parade but I've got my fingers crossed that we might be able to find a few more stragglers before we have to hang up the costumes until next year. That's depressing .....

But I do have bit of good that may override the bad this time ..... I think I've found my new calling. I have been having an absolute BLAST giving riding lessons! I never thought in a million years it would be this much fun!! I'm really hoping that word gets around and I can pull in a few more students. This has given me a new reason to get up in the morning and keep going. I would absolutly LOVE it if I could book up the entire day and into the evening with kids wanting to learn how to ride and take care of a horse. As I have been reviewing some basics, I find it bewildering that not everyone knows what a cavesson is .... or a martingale ..... or how to cinch up a saddle. ??

I grew up with horses. Have been around them my whole life. My girls have too (being around me .... so they know everything I know). I take it for granted that everyone knows how to collect and round up your mount. I also figure that everybody knows what a "lead" is and if you're on the correct "diagonal", but now I'm seeing that everybody really doesn't know those things. They haven't even heard those WORDS before. :o) ......so maybe I'm not so washed up. .....maybe I do have something that I can still offer people out there that want to learn. ....maybe I've been focusing on trying to get back into something that I did years ago when I am sitting on a gold mine right here. Right under my nose. I have a great facility with champion horses and 40+ years experience in riding, showing, and breeding. Why not use what I have available to me right in my own back yard?

Some people say fate exists. I don't know if I totally believe that or not, but maybe if it does that could be why nothing has turned up for me application after application after application. Maybe this is what I'm supposed to be doing? Maybe this is what I've been waiting for ?? Has God been trying to tell me this but I wasn't seeing it? Am I supposed to be helping kids and adults find their passion for horses and teach them this skill to take with them through their lifetimes? ..... maybe?

I guess only time will tell. I am trying to be patient. I am trying to play this new hand I've been dealt and take life day by day lately. That's not something I'm good at. I like to plan. I like to know that things are going to be ok in the future. I do know that this last week I have actually been a little happier. I still cry ..... but not as much. I just wish I had a crystal ball .........

Wings Worked!

Hey There Dancing Horse Fans!

Well, if you've been following us on Facebook, you know that the wings were a SUCCESS!! They worked! I was pretty nervous trying to actually get on TOP of Gato with those things on ..... but with Dani's help, we figured it out. I'm glad I redid them and jimmy-rigged a harness on them . I ended up mounting first and then having Dani hand them to me once I was on top. I sloooowly slipped them onto my arms and over my shoulders to get them in place. I was still nervous that Gato was going to freak out since they were so wide. There was virtually no wind out at all .... but even the tiny bit of breeze there was sent them flying since they were so lightweight. **Note to Self: DO NOT ever attempt to wear these if there is any wind out whatsoever. :o)

So anyway .... the parade was a lot of fun. We had some more new friends help us out this time again. Dani didn't ride -- she wanted to take pics and help me in case of an emergency with the wings. Krystle brought her horse, Jake, for his first parade. She also had her little sister, Nadi, and her brother Trevor along to help. Another friend of hers -- Monica -- rode along and ended up driving the big truck in the parade. So we had another full parade team.

OH .... and I can't forget our extra back up dancers that joined in the fun .... Josie brought her horse Boots and dressed up as an Indian; Cody was on his horse Rose and dressed up as a Cowboy. This was Rose's first parade, too. and last but not least was Dannielle riding her horse Aster. Aster actually is sired by a horse bred and raised here on the farm ..... Rey Derringer Bey. Derin was born here and was sold at an early age when weaned. He was gone for a few years and then returned when he was 4 or 5 years old. In the meantime, while he was out with his new owner, he sired a few foals. Aster was one of them. When we got Derin back, we gelded him ...... showed him a little at a few events......then re-sold him again. He's still living with the family we sold him to the second time. He is actually running barrells with his new family and is doing really well. ANYWAY ...... back to the story .... I thought it was sure a small world to accidentally run into Dannielle at the college one day and found out that she owns a Rey Derringer Bey foal. .....and then to become friends and to have them join us in a parade!! What a small world. :o)

Stay tuned for more Dancing Horse adventures!! I wonder who else we'll meet on our journey through life!!

Golden Wings ....

Another Friday ..... come and gone. Didn't do a whole lot. ....but I guess it was enough. Woke up at 5am like I do everyday. Made coffee. Ate breakfast. Played on Facebook for awhile. Watched HGTV. Did chores. Got ready to go to town to go buy more dog food. Noticed the front tire was a little low. Started up the big truck but it turned over kind of slow .... hmmm .... that's bothersome. Then I sat there as it ran a little bit and thought .... have I really not turned this truck on since Monday? Yup. I haven't left this farm since Monday. It's Friday. No wonder I'm going a little batty.

I did have a human being stop here on Tuesday that I talked to .... Schwann Man ... Ty. He didn't stay very long, though. I guess that's the only person I saw on Tues. Nobody on Wed. I did have a few people come out on Thursday for riding lessons. ....so I got to see five actual 'people' yesterday. I didn't even realize I hadn't left here for 3 days until I thought about it this morning. I think I could really hole up here and never leave ...... if I didn't need supplies. I'd be good.

Went and put air in my front tires ..... filled up with gas ..... didn't talk to anybody. Went to the grocery store. Some old guy said "Good Morning" ..... I said "Good Morning" back. Didn't talk to anybody in the store except the check out girl who asked if I got a seedless watermelon or a seeded one. I said I didn't really know. I just grabbed one. I kind of hope it's seedless but I guess if it isn't, I'll deal with it. She laughed. She said I guess you'll find out when you get home, huh. :o) ..... I did talk to the guy who carried my groceries out. I like that guy. Wish I knew what his name was. ....but you know how once you see someone enough times, you can't really ask them their name anymore .... then you move into the 'awkward' period where if you ask them their name, it's offensive because you've known them so long that you really should know their name by now. I don't know. That's how I feel. I've passed the proper 'name asking' time frame with this guy ...... so I guess I'll never know his name. Oh well. Life goes on.

Came home and unloaded groceries. Did dishes. Unwrapped the purple sequined fabric off one of my bridles and re-wrapped it in gold sequins .... then the phone rang. I usually don't have my pohone on. I'm not big on talking or texting on the phone ..... unless I've gone several days without talking to anyone. ....so I answered it. It was my friend Josie. She was asking about the parade tomorrow and asked for advice putting a costume together for her. Ok .... well, that's right up my alley. :o) I think I talked to her for the next hour. She probably was just waiting for me to shut up!! You can definitely tell I haven't talked to anyone in a while. :o) After I got off the phone with her I was kind of pumped up about the parade so I decided to try to put my isis wings together so they stood up on their own.

I went out to the barn .... let Gato out. Searched around in the washrack for a peice of PVC pipe I knew was in there somewhere. Went to the garage to find some more pipe. Got some wire, too. Went in the house ate some lunch then started testing things. I had a hoop skirt wire Stacey brought me last weekend ..... ruled that one out right away. Not sturdy enough. Wire I had from the garage drooped, too. PVC pipe ... PERFECT! Had to cut it .... duck tape it in an "x" shape to hold the 'wings' upwards ..... then proceeded to try to figure out how I was going to strap this contraption to me ???? with a costume over TOP of it.

After considering duck taping it to my body ..... I thought .... I really need a harness or something similar to my angel wings. Straps. Not sure if little straps are going to be strong enough to hold those big wings in place ...... hmmmm ...... what do I have here that might work? I tried some string ... I tried bungie cords ..... nope. Rope? Nope. What do I have here that has 'straps' on it that I could jimmy rig into a harness? I went into my closet....... a belt? no ..... then I saw some bras hanging .... A BRA!!! YES!! I can take an old, crappy bra ... turn it backwards like a backpack. YES! So I took an old one ..... got the duck tape back out and taped it onto the pvc pipes. I slid the arm peices over my back and strapped the huge wings on like a backpack. IT WORKED!!!! Awesome!! But they're HUGE! There's no way Gato's going to let me get anywhere near him with these on. Ok .... I've gotta go outside while he's out grazing hanging out in the pasture and get him used to these monsterous things.

I managed to maneuver my way out of the house after knocking a bunch of things off the counter .... got caught in the ceiling fan ..... almost caught the wings on fire from a candle on the stove. ..... but FINALLY got out the door with them. I was right. As soon as I got to the pasture, Gato snorted and ran the other way! He was having nothing to do with me and those wings. I finally got him to come up and smell them .... but then a wind gust came up and blew the wings towards him and away he ran again. After a while he was getting used to them. We got on the pedestal out there together .... he finally started calming down. I just stood them petting him ..... letting the wings flap over him ...... then a farmer drove by. I waved. He almost went in the ditch staring. I realized that I must look a bit odd .... standing out on a pedestal in the middle of a pasture .... with my horse .... wearing huge, golden wings. Probably not something you see everyday driving down a gravel road.

After I was comfortable enough that he wasn't going to buck me off tomorrow .... I went back in the house. Put the wings away. Worked on more networking on the computer trying to get some boarders and more riding lesson students in here. Took a break and watched Judge Judy with the puppies. Went back outside and did night chores...... cleaned Gato's stall ..... swept.....cobbed (yes, again .....bastards)......loaded up the trailer for tomorrow. ....and now it's 7pm and I'm back inside ready to make some supper and call it a night. I wonder if there's anything good on tv.

Another action packed Friday come and ALMOST gone ..... :o)

Spiders on Red Bull?

Was just outside cobbing .....again. I just cobbed yesterday. Is it just me or do spiders seem to get Herculean webbing tendencies this time of year? It's like they're on Red Bull and Mountain Dew or something. It seems like this time of year you can cob one day and the very next day all the webs are back and sometimes even MORE are built up! You can't stay ahead of them!! I wish I could be more like a spider -- resilient. Never defeated. It's like a tornado completely wipes out their home ....totally destroys it. ....but they don't get depressed and take time to feel down and out. They start webbing again. Building something even more fabulous than their first web. It's amazing. Yep, I want to be like a spider.

Then all of a sudden ..... mid fall ..... it just stops. You go out and cob one day and then ... nothing. and more nothing. The cobs stay gone. It's like the spiders finally gave up and decided screw it, we'll wait until next year to build our condos. It's time to rest now. That's kind of how I feel. Screw it. Everytime I try to build something back up, it seems to get knocked down. ....so I'll just wait til next year to rebuild my life. I'm going to rest now. Maybe I am like a spider.

A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words....

Quiet day today ....

This picture sums it all up.

Tama County Fair

Wow .... can't believe four whole days have passed since my last post. Time flies whether you're having fun or not. Well, last time I talked to everyone I was getting ready for the Tama County Fair. That was one of the most fun days I've had in a long time. I felt really comfortable performing each time. The crowd was a nice size .... not too big or overwhelming .... and not too small so Gato wouldn't want to do anything. He sometimes absolutely refuses to dance or do anything if nobody is watching. It's like he is telling me "I already know how to dance and do these stupid tricks. I'm not doing them if nobody is watching. I don't need to 'practice' when I already know them." It is almost IMPOSSIBLE to practice with him unless I get really mean and force him to do it. Put a crowd in front of him and he's a total show off. He will start dancing on his own just so they clap and whistle.

So anyway .... yeah ..... we made it to Gladbrook with only one missed turn and I actually didn't completely panic when we missed that turn this time. I only slightly panicked. No mental break downs. I was able to turn the rig around and get back on track pretty easily. I think the tips that Dannielle L. gave me a few weeks ago about backing gave me a tiny bit more confidence in myself. I even managed to pull the truck and trailer into kind of a tight spot in the fairgrounds. I did get help at the end of the day backing it out but I think I might have been able to back it out myself ...... but figured if someone else is going to offer ..... I'm taking the help. :o)

So yeah. We got there and were greeted by a whole group of people who helped us unload and carry our stuff to our stalls. Even the girls couldn't believe how helpful and friendly everyone was. Our first performance was up right away so instead of setting up our stalls, we decided to hurry up and get Gato ready to go and I went in and got dressed. Our first ride was at 11:15 to start their 4-H Show out. We rode to LMFAO - I'm Sexy and I Know It and Lady Gaga's Born This Way. Krystle said it was our best performance so far this year. It felt really good. :o)

After we were done, Dani untacked Gato while I changed back into my t-shirt. Krystle, Dani, Stacey, and I all worked on finishing setting up the decorations then we headed out to find a bathroom and some food. We ate at a nice little lunch barn run by the Gladbrook Community Center. After we got done we went back to get ready for my next performance ..... the Indian. By that time I had a little entourage of kids following me around. I loved it. Gato was so laid back and calm. He did so well bridleless. He did everything I wanted him to. The whole thing went really well. No bucking ..... no running to the gate ...... it was awesome.

Next up was my very first trick clinic. I went back and while Dani and Krystle were getting Gato ready, Stacey helped me get out of my sticky clothes and into my next outfit. We had a little time before I had to go up so I gave some kids some rides. By the time 3:30 rolled around, I had a nice little crowd gathered again. This time I rode briefly to Purple People Eater then jumped off and talked about how I taught Gato some of the simple little tricks he does and how to sit on a beanbag chair. I also showed them how I made some of my blingy tack. I'm not sure how long the whole thing took. The girls warned me not to talk on and on too long because I would get boring. I think it may have gone around 20 minutes? I know my song was about 2 minutes. I think I talked for about 15 minutes showing everyone stuff and then they asked a few questions.

My last performance was at 5. I was worried that Gato was getting really tired. He didn't really want to dance during the last one and was starting to act up a little. I dressed up in my 50's poodle skirt and at 5pm we had a crowd gathered again for our last performance. When I went in to stand on the pedestal, he was already being a butt man and wouldn't step up on the pedestal. he kept going round and round. Great. This isn't gonna be a good one. I told him to straighten up ... we only had ONE MORE LEFT then we're going home. Sometimes I think he understands me ....... cuz he stepped up on the pedestal after that. He still was pissed ..... but he stepped up there. He had his ears back the whole time like he was saying ....FINE. I'll get up here but I'm not gonna like it. The music started after the announcer announced who we were. I could tell he was sluggish. We went into the dancing and I was happily suprised that he was dancing pretty well, actually. He even did the jumping/hopping thing fairly well. Awesome. He was giving it his all. .....so I decided to cut it short since he was doing so well and I jumped off after a couple minutes and decided to finish up in hand. That's not as strenuous on him. It is on me ..... but easier on him. We did some big stepping ...... but again, he was being a butt and wouldn't really march with me. I tried to dance beside him ..... he kind of did it. He reared. Kind of. I went to sit him down...... he sat for 2 seconds and popped back up. I tried it again and it seemed like it took FOREVER for him to sit. He kept looking at me like ....NOPE. NOT GONNA DO IT AND YOU CAN"T MAKE ME. I have sat on that stupid beanbag a million times today and I want to go home. I'm DONE. .....I finally just looked at him and said PLEASE!!!! Please do this one more time then we'll go home. ....and he sat. and sat. and sat. I pulled and pulled and PULLED to get him up. He finally stood up. We bowed. I went and stood him on the pedestal cuz the music was still playing ....... I curtsied to the audience and while I wasn't paying attention that stinker stepped down off the pedestal. I turned around to see him walking to the other side of the arena. WHAT?! GATO!! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!! He does this at home when he's bored or tired or done. He just leaves. So he left. He was done. The ladies from the fairgrounds came in to help me catch him. I knew chasing him would be futile. When he is in this kind of mood ..... there's no catching him until he wants to be caught. I turned my back to him and started walking to the gate. I told him I'm done ..... I'm going home. He kept going the other way. When he noticed one of the ladies walking after him he picked up into a trot. He's thinking -- YES! They're going to CHASE ME!! When she picked up speed .... so did he. Until he was in an all out gallop .... tail up .... snorting .... blowing. I stood at the gate ..... Great. Just great. My fabulous trick horse is out there putting on his own show. I yelled at him and told him HE"D BETTER NOT ROLL IN MY GOOD SADDLE OR HE"S TOAST!!!! He stopped and looked at me for a second then took off running again. I stood at the gate and yelled at the audience ...... "This is part of the show ..... we seriously meant to do this .... not." They were all laughing. I knew he would eventually come back to me. He's a smart horse. He knows the only way out was that gate and the only way home was ME. He was going to come back ..... it wasn't a matter of IF .. it was a matter of WHEN. Then as I was standing there waiting ..... he decided he'd had enough running around free so he came running full blast straight to me ....just like I figured he would.... and slid to a stop about 3 feet away...... I grabbed at his reins and caught him. We did one final bow to the audience .... then I had them open the gate to let us out.

He was prancing around like a freaking 3 year old stallion. Still snorting. He sure wasn't tired now!! That goofy horse. The kids were running up to him to come talk to us ..... I was a little worried he was too wound up for them to be around him ..... so I just stopped and petted him for a while. Dani wanted to take him from me but I told her no ..... we need to just stand here a minute and calm down. So we stood there with the kids all around him and as we stood his head came down ..... and he stopped shaking ..... and he got calmer and calmer. I had the kids walk up to pet him and as they started touching him it's like they flipped a switch and he turned back off again. Like he took a big SIGH and was back to the old Gato. Aaaahhhh .... I love little kids petting me ......

Yep. It was a good day. We met some great new friends. I had a wonderful time riding my beautiful Gato. We had some high points and some low points but all in all I think the overall day was a good one. I'm so glad they invited us to come.